How to Choose a Couples Therapist

How to Choose a Couples Therapist

Relationships can be deeply fulfilling and they can also be deeply challenging and difficult. Anytime two people come together, there is compromise, laughter, differences, newness, and struggle. Do you and your partner find yourself feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or stuck? Seeking professional couples therapy can be a great and powerful step towards feeling connected and intimate again. Some of the most common questions we get around couples therapy is “How to choose a couples therapist” and “Will couples counseling work?”

If you are searching for “couples therapy Minneapolis” or wanting to know more about how to improve your relationship, keep reading! Let’s dive in to these questions!

How to Choose a Couples Therapist

Finding the right therapist for you and your partner can make all the difference in your experience and outcomes in couples therapy. Not all therapists are the same and couples therapy specifically requires special training and skills.

Here are a few things to consider when deciding how to choose a couples therapist:

• Look for Specialized Training in Couples Therapy:
  Couples therapy is different from individual therapy as the therapist is managing a different dynamic and two backgrounds coming together. Look for a therapist trained in evidenced-based approaches such as the Gottman Method or Emotionally focused Therapy (EFT)

• Therapists Background and Experience:
  You may consider asking the therapist about their experience such as how long they have been working with couples or common issues that they work well with. Many therapists will offer complimentary consultations!

• Consider Personality and Fit:
  You both need to be able to like and trust your therapist. The vibe needs to be right and you need to be able to see yourself opening up to them, otherwise all the training and experience in the world will not be enough. This is arguably the most important aspect of any therapist!

• Logistics:
  If you find yourself searching for “couples therapy Minneapolis” or “virtual couples therapy”, these terms may be important to you. Are you looking for a therapist that can see you in-person, or someone that allows the flexibility of virtual meetings? Do you and your partner have scheduling constraints?

Will Couples Counseling Work? What to Expect:

If you are exploring how to choose a couples therapist, you are also probably wondering what to expect in couples therapy and will couples counseling work.

Let’s start with what to expect in couples counseling:

• Each therapist’s approach is going to be a bit different. In Gottman style couples therapy, the therapist may have individual sessions with each partner to learn more about your background and history before beginning conjoint sessions

• The therapist will gather an overview of your relationship history, how you came to be together, milestones you have faced, any ongoing challenges or strengths

• The therapist will likely provide some preliminary tools or thoughts on ways forward

• They will likely tell you that they value transparency and will not keep secrets. It is the couples therapist job and a huge part of “will couples counseling work?” that the therapist remain neutral

Will Couples Counseling Work?

One of the biggest hesitations that a lot of couples have is “Will couples counseling work?”. No one wants to go into a place with all their struggles and vulnerability if they don’t have some buy in that it will get better. Research shows us with the evidence-based modalities mentioned above, that couples therapy usually does work! However, there are some factors to consider:

• Are both partners ready and willing to participate in the process? Both parties need to be ready and willing to be vulnerable, make changes, and practice tools

• Is now the right time? The time needs to be there to dedicate to coming consistently and not feel so overwhelming either

• Have you found a therapist you both feel comfortable with?

What Couples Therapy Can Help With:

Couples therapy can help with a wide variety of things and is not just of couples on the verge of divorce. Couples therapy often helps with:

• Improving communication

• Improving intimacy

• Rebuilding trust

• Navigating life transitions (parenthood, career changes, moving)

• Strengthening emotional connection

• Resolving recurring conflicts

Signs It May Be Time to Seek Help:

• You have the same arguments over and over again

• You don’t feel connected or intimate with each other

• Communication feels strained or maybe even nonexistent

• There is emotional or physical distance

• There was a rupture in trust

• You are starting to feel more like roommates and less like partners

Take the first step…

Deciding to seek help is arguably the most difficult and most important step. If you have been wondering how to choose a couples therapist, our clinic is a great place to start. Our couples therapist is trained in Gottman therapy and offers complimentary 15-minute consultations where you can ask more about couples therapy, will couples counseling work, and any other questions you have! We can see couples in Minnesota, California, Wisconsin, Colorado, Florida, Vermont, Delaware, and South Carolina!

If you are asking yourself if couples therapy is the right step know that with the right support and guidance, you and your partner can experience long-lasting, meaningful change.

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Soteria Mental Health

Specialized online trauma therapy specializing in EMDR trauma therapy online, pregnancy and postpartum therapy, anxiety therapy, and couples therapy. We support clients:

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